


Cover his head and close his eyes

by YunaDragneel



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Angst, Depression, I cried when I wrote it so, It's okay to be sad, M/M, Murder, Suicide, There's a funeral involved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2019-01-04 23:37:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12178713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YunaDragneel/pseuds/YunaDragneel
Summary: 25 years to life didn’t bother him. The Foxes came and went, visiting but they were always crying. There was never a moment where they stopped crying.





	Cover his head and close his eyes

**Author's Note:**

> I got hit by this sad inspiriation so I guess I had to write it. You can call me a monster for posting this  
> btw the songs I used for inspiration were:  
> Kiss it all better - He is We  
> Open Up your eyes - Daughtry  
> Listen to them to make it feel even worse

_He sits in his cell, and he lays on his bed, covers his head and closes his eyes._

Whenever his eyes closed, Andrew still saw the smoking gun. Remembered the way the coward had dropped it and ran off when Andrew knelt beside Neil. He had held him, not caring about the blood that came gushing from the wound. The blond had never seen Neil cry before, but the tears mixed with the blood and it was an ugly truth Andrew realized in that moment. Neil would die.

“Andrew…” Neil’s voice cracked and Andrew stared at him, there was too much blood and Andrew couldn’t help him.

“Junkie.” Andrew would acknowledge that his voice cracked. That it hurt. He hunched over Neil a little more, holding him closer.

“I don’t want to die…” Those words hurt far worse than Andrew cared to admit.

“You’re not going to die. I told you I would be the one to kill you.” Neil reached up to cradle Andrew’s cheek in his cold hand. It trembled and it cost strength and it was so _so_ cold.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry Andrew.” His hand slipped and Andrew caught it, holding it tight.

“Shut up.” His voice shook, his focus on Neil, whose eyes were closed. Andrew leaned down to kiss his face, wanting to rise a last reaction. “Everything will be alright.” But nothing would ever be. Andrew only cried as a child. But he wouldn’t deny that his eyes watered. That there had been a few tears on Neil’s face from him.

Through his blurred sight, he saw the gun the coward had dropped and his rage flared, all the darkness he kept buried. He put Neil down gently and moved to pick it up. It was as if he’d been on autopilot, running after the man who’d shot his only love.

Finding him had been easy. Andrew had chased him down and cornered him in an alley, there was nowhere to run for the man. Nowhere to go and Andrew pulled the trigger. Once. Twice. A third time. By the time he remembered what had transpired a few moments ago, he was handcuffed and pushed into the car.

 

25 years to life didn’t bother him. The Foxes came and went, visiting but they were always crying. There was never a moment where they stopped crying. Renee was the only one who came in with composure, but even then some twisted part of Andrew wanted to see her crack, to see her cry. He knew it was cruel, but no one considered how he felt. Of course not. He was the monster. The monster without feelings.

“Hello Andrew.” Renee smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes like usually. How could it after the hellish weeks. “You will be escorted to the funeral. I asked the prison guards to prepare a suit for you.” Andrew never looked at anyone anymore. Just looked through them, never reacting, never talking.

“Why.” Renee seemed to breathe a little easier after he spoke and her smile was a little more convincing.

“Because Neil would have wanted it. And the others want you to be there as well,” she replied. Andrew just noticed how she was already dressed in black and nodded.

 

The cops didn’t seem too sure, but Renee had somehow convinced them to give Andrew this little bit of freedom. And she promised that Andrew wouldn’t try anything, not that he ever had the plan. He wasn’t even handcuffed.

He was the last to arrive, the casket still hadn’t been lowered. They had waited for Andrew, who stood a few feet away, unmoving and waiting for the Foxes finally want to break ties with him. That this was the last time they ever wanted to see him. But nothing like this came. Katelyn stepped forward, her eyes red and puffy and Andrew asked himself why she was affected. She didn’t know Neil that well.

“Andrew,” she spoke and this time he didn’t tune her out, wanting to know what she had to say. She had grown a spine in those few years after Palmetto. “We waited for you. It didn’t feel right to not let you see him anymore.” She held out her hand, foolish thing. But against all odds, Andrew felt like he should pretend to make peace with her. He didn’t know if he ever got the chance again. So he took her hand and let her lead him to the grave where the casket was.

Neil looked so peaceful and it was so wrong because he had been everything but peaceful. The suit looked good, but it felt wrong again. Neil was rundown clothes and messy hair and more issues than a man should have.

Andrew knew he should say something. Anything. But their lives had always been about words being thrown back in each other’s faces. He searched his never-ending memory for something Neil had said that conveyed more than a simple goodbye. What came back to him was cruel, but fitting.

“Thank you. You were amazing.” He heard Allison’s anguished cry, knowing she had been the one to listen in back in the locker room after the game against the bearcats. Before Neil had been kidnapped and tortured. Betsy came up behind Andrew and put her hand on his shoulder. He let it happen, knowing full-well that Bee would never harm him.

After that, everything was a blur. Nothing stood out. The Foxes crying, Renee’s smile finally slipping and tears spilling over. Kevin wanting to drown everything in alcohol and Matt holding Dan and staring blankly at the grave. Nicky’s crying and Erik trying to hold him together, Allison holding onto Abby who couldn’t be of much comfort with the tears she shed herself. Wymack standing there, blank-faced and red-rimmed eyes, Betsy trying to wipe away the tears but never really succeeding. Aaron had stared at Andrew and Andrew looked through him. It was strange to see the tears of his carbon-copy. And Andrew realized that Aaron wasn’t the only one crying from the siblings. He felt the warm tears burn on his cheeks as well. Maybe that was the reason Aaron kept on staring at him. Because it was surreal.

 

Andrew made it for a total of three months before the news of his suicide reached the Foxes.


End file.
